3 words
by DROWN IN LIFE
Summary: 3 words can lift my heart or kill my heart. You choose, TROYELLA


There were 3 words that could break my heart, but three words that meant everything to me

There were 3 words that could break my heart, but three words that meant everything to me. I wondered why I felt this way, it didn't mean anything. I wondered why he made such an impact on my life. What did I, Gabriella Montez ever do; to have the love of her life say 3 words that made her smile. And 3 words that killed her inside. I never deserved him in the first place. That night we met should have never happened. I should have; but I didn't and neither did he. We did what our parents had asked us to. I still scream because I have to face hell every time I see him, his cold eyes piercing down my face. I never deserved him or his love. He'd beg to differ. I wouldn't you see; that's why I feel numb pain in the every step I take. I don't take pride in anything I have ever done. I want to cry, I want to take us back to that night. The night our future started. Before he started my future and then killed it. I probably should have aske him what I had done, why he said those words. If he meant it. He was calling my name, after I sprinted the moment I HATE YOU came out of his mouth, I ran aay not wanting to see the end result. I flinch every time I walk by him, seeing the evident pain in his eyes. His unearthly, godawful eyes, why did they have to be so pure and so god damn breathtaking. It wasn't fair, god life isn't fair. I wish that I hadn't run away. In fact all I've been doing these past weeks is running, running away from everything I love. I flinch every time I hear the word love. It's like I'm living Lava Springs all over again, except this time no one will make ammends with me. I guess I deserve it after all I've done to them. I've been the biggest bitch, JERK, and I won't do anything for them. After I heard those words come out of his mouth, I freaked. It had only been 3 months before that the 3 words he had said to me, had my heart racing at the speed of light. Now I'd do anything for that to go away. The words I love you, coming from the love of your life were amazing I jus wish that I could change it all. I would stop cutting my wrists, actually and not throw up my food. Take pride in my school work instead of whatevering it. I wish they could see the evidence in front of their face. I was frozen barely living, dead all over. All because my lover had to kill me. I wish that this would end. This misery this pain. This bottle is overbrimming with sadness tears and all my emotions were horrifying. All I want is too be back in his arms again. Up in our dreams; just like kindergarden. When everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect, because I wasn't around. I slowly began to turn into the same Gabriella Montez that was before I came to East High. I ditched my friends, my old lover was in that gang. I wished I could escape from everyone. I put on a happy face and act normal for my mom. I don't think she would be able to handle the new me. Ever since Dad and Kassidy died. I don't think me dying would help anymore. Losing 2 of the most important people in her life. Her husband and one of her twin daughters Kassidy. They died only before we moved to Albequerque. Mom, took me to the ski resort to get over it. I met my prince charming, and now almost a year later left him. I just wish that this wouldn't have to be so hard. I wish that he would take back those words. I wish I could take back what ever I did to make him hate me. I see the love and concern flash through his normally ice cold blue eyes. Have you guessed it yet? My true love, soul mate and best friend Troy Bolton destroyed my life. I even cut off contact with Sharpay my new best friend. The old bitch of East High. Now that's me, the bitch and nerd of East High. I once was the goddess and wonder the light of East High. I now live in remembrance of everything. I'm sitting here in math class next to Taylor, and Troy. Not saying a word, trying to hide the scars of the razor. When a note was pushed in front of me. I looked at it, it was from Troy I could tell. I opened it.

Gabster,

meet me in our special place, at 12. If you don't I will literally hunt you down. I know what you do to yourself it's hard to not, I can read your thoughts. So meet me there,

3 Troy.

I sighed, I knew I should have never opened the note. I shook my head in a nod, so that Troy could see. I hadn't paid attention to math in ever, I still had the best grades of ever.

"Ms. Montez, can you tell me what the answer is to this equation," we were supposed to be working on. I looked at the board and squinted "Uh xm+c squared x 36a / 12y"

"Correct Ms. Montez."

I nodded, no emotions, I don't have any emotions anymore. I wish I did. My face was frozen pale, lifeless. My clothes don't fit my body anymore. I'm straight and no curves. I am weak all the time, it's something that only Troy can fix. But that's not going to happen, I thought he loved me but I guess inside he really hates me. I need to erase him from my mind. No communication is better than communication. Don't talk to Troy, half off my body was saying. To be specific it was my brain. But my heart was saying go, get it out in the open. So I decided to do something crazy, I was going to go and talk to Troy. Totally irrational, but I needed to. I'm breaking my promise, I tend to be doing that a lot. My promises mean absolutely nothing. I promised I would never change back into the barely living, and dead-but-alive-Gabriella. But there I had, I do everything alone. I cut off all contact with everyone. I dressed covering up everything I was doing to myself. But I need to show Troy, that I was doing to something to myself. Something horrible.

I replied to the note,

T-

nopee, I will meet you tomorrow, no questions. Good

I sent it over with the bitchiest stare I could muster looking into those eyes. Those eyes that send shivers down my back.

Ella-

fine and stop being a bitch, keep the note.

3 Troy!

I turned to face the clock, bell was about to ring. I looked back over at Troy and snarled, and leapt out of my seat. The bell had rang. I looked back to see a shocked Troy. Gathering his strength to carry on. He was dying without Gabriella.

I got home, the minute I did. I took off my clothes put on something I would normally not give a shit about. I put the clothes on. I took out the razor, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was once a beauty, I looked like shit. No that was an understatement. I loved the way everyone gave sympathetic glances. Hated the way I was. Why was I everyones personal, lover. I wished that this wasn't so damn hard. I would have killed my self if it hadn't been for the razor. Soon I am thinking of doing some pot, I've heard it's a great relaxer. I looked into the mirror and said,"you deserve this pain, you should have never been born." I pressed the razor down hard. Feeling the blood erupt from the scars was amazing. I felt an energy high. I slashed again, and again. I just kept smiling at the blood erupting from my wrists. I was killing myself and my soul. It was just amazing, to feel half dead. I suddenly felt the razor dig deeper into my flesh. I hated this stress of being perfect, it hurts too much. Being the teachers favorite. Being the one everyone wanted to be. Not anymore, I'm different, my only weakness being Troy. His humanly perfection, and his toned abs. I gave him my virginity, and I get I HATE YOU! That only made me hurt harder. I was planning on marrying him one day. Giving everything I lived for him! FOR HIM! And all he says to me is I hate you. I glance down at the blood drenching my arms, I sigh. I grab a towel, and the first aid kit. I wanted to apply pressure to my wounds to stop the bleeding. I want the scars to prove that I am not a loser, I'm a warrior. I waited until the bleeding stopped, and it was just a dull ache in my wrists. I went to my closet to find a perfect outfit. A pair of tight jeans, or they were tight, now loose. I sighed, time to go shopping anorexic. I left the house with out a word. I went into the girls department. I found the cutest pair of jeans, size 14. They clung to me, loosely. I sighed, they would have to do. I could fit into the 12's but they would be too short. I sighed, 14's it is. I looked at the junior department, why did a size 0 juniors make me feel confident. But a size 12, girls made me feel insecure. Probably because I'm not a 0 anymore. I go with the 12's I decide capri's can't be that bad. Now a revealing top, so I could show my wrists, and my belly button ring. Yeah, that's right a belly ring. I got it right after Troy said I hate you. It just felt so right, I also got a heart tatooed on my hip. The secrets I hide. At the age of 18, it's just so free to do anything. I go into the juniors section with my pants. I look for the extrasmall tops. I saw one, but I couldn't breath in it. It pushed down on my boobs to hard. So I got this strappy low cut spaghetti strap flowy shirt. That when I stretched my arms up, you could be exposed to my ring and tatoo. I was walking out, when I ran into Sharpay. I didn't even glance twice. My clothes fell to the floor. She picked them up, her eyes huge when she saw the size of the pants. The shirt made her wonder what I was up to. It was something I would have used to wear. She handed them to me, and looked away. I walked to the check out. Sighing, knowing what she was going to do, text the gang, and tell them about this encounter. I left the store, not caring what Sharpay was doing. I went home and ate the gracious dinner my mother had made for me. She had noticed my weight loss, and was trying to figure out the meaning behind it. I actually let the chicken settle in my stomache. I got up, and went to bed, knowing tomorrow was going to be strenuous.

I had perfected my outfit. I was pale, lifeless and even my hair was dull. My eyes were vacant, and my arms were raw beyond belief. I got up looking like the perfect porcelain barbie doll. No emotions, I walked to my car. Knowing the long await, the fear for what I was doing. I parked my car in the parking lot. I looked out the window at, East High. I silently clutched my book bag. I got out, and marched into the school with the same look I've had since that fateful day. I was only wearing something actually nice. I watched people look me up and down. Seeing that I had changed. I silently cursed myself, my scars. But then again I wanted people to see the new me. I went to homeroom and sat there, and when I got up. I saw concern flash through their eyes. I waved to them and left them staring speechless at my actions, let alone my scars along my arms. I left the room without further ado, and headed toward math. I sighed this is going to be a long math class, Taylor and Troy. JOY! not. I got in their and actually started working on the problem up on the board. Troy came in and sat down, I could feel his eyes glancing over at my wrists. Not believing I did self-harm. I sighed,"That's not all Troy, I've changed, not a damn you can do about it." I lifted up my shirt showed him the belly ring, and last but not least the heart tatoo. The heart that said, "Him that I love, I wish to be free even from me." I turned back to the board. His eyes cringing, at me his old lover. The one true happiness in his life. I turned into his worst nightmare. A cold lifeless bitch, who was doing things to her body that should never been done. The day dragged on until lunch. I was secretly happy. I walked up the roof stairs. Only to be grabbed by Troy. Who started to cry. "Ella, I'm sorry I have to finish the sentence I was saying when you left. I said I hate you- you cut me off. let me finish it - in more ways than one. They are all good reasons to hate how perfect you are, or the way you stress over little things, or try to do everything correctly. I love you more than basketball, or anything. You're my light in the dark tunnel. He gulped, "Gabriella will you stop cutting your wrists, ignoring me, starving yourself, throwing up food, and be my wife? I never want to see you get another tatoo that says something hurtful, that can never be erased."

"Troy nothing like this can ever be erased. It needs to stay there, to remind us of how things were. I'm not getting rid of the belly ring, and that's final. I don't know why on earth, you would start a sentence out with I hate you. Why?"

"Because I was stupid, and in love. I still am, but at least I could be stupid and in love with you! You never answered my question Gabriella, will you stop all that cutting, and ignoring, starving, throwing up, and be the old GAB! Will you please, Sharpay told me she saw you last night, with a size 12 GIRLS PAIR OF JEANS. You dropped 4 pant sizes. My god Ella, your killing me. I thought giving you my virginity was something good. Like you gave me yours, but now, your doing this and I'm dead. I love you. Will you marry me?" Troy asked again.

"GOD DAMNIT WHY IS EVERYONE so concerned about me? Am I really that bad?" I aske my voice quieter now.

"Yeah Gab, your a cold lifeless dead bitch, who's so cruel. I wished I could change you. I knew I was your weakness. That's why your not looking me in the eyes, cause you will melt. Now answer me Ella, MARRY ME!" Troy said.

"Okay hold on. I wouldn't purposely try to hurt you, I miss your smile. I miss you, I only was that because it was the only way I could cope. Look at me in the eyes Troy! I will marry you as long as you promise to love me forever. And never ever let me go!" I looked into his eyes with a fiery passion. I wanted him, wanted him now inside me, I know how horrible to want sex on the rooftop of our school. "Gabbyyy, I will never ever let you go." He said looking at me with passion in his eyes. And we did it, right there, if their was anyone outside screw them, anyone who could hear us screw it. I was their showing and giving love to my one and only love Troy, Troy Bolton. We walked down to the school after that and we had calmed down. I waited and waited until the gang came around to see me and Troy giggling laughing at eachother. They did and I told them everything showed them everything, and I promised to never harm my body ever again. I had my love and my life back, everything was perfect. Unless those 3 words were ever spoken wrongly again.


End file.
